Wednesday, 25 June 2014

We're all the boss*

I was recently contacted about joining up with Giffgaff and their 'We're all the boss' campaign - i.e. how the decisions I've made have changed my life. When I first read about it, I was bit unsure whether I could write anything up to be honest - I've not moved to a big city; I've not set up my own business and I've never been travelling solo (expect for my flight to Oz but I was greeted by friends at the other side - does that count?).

I really liked the campaign idea so I got my thinking cap on and decided that actually yes, there has been one hell of a significant moment in my life where I took control and it most definitely changed my life. Now be warned, this may get a little heavy from here on out...

If you've been reading my blog for a while, you'll know that I lost my elder brother many moons ago (18yrs ago now-if not, you can read about that here). I was only 9yrs old at the time so not fully aware of what exactly was going on and how it would affect me. I took it in my stride and got on with life - didn't really know any other way, after all, I was only 9. My parents were very supportive and never pushed at all and let me grieve in my own way. 

This was all fine until I got a bit older and I started to think about it a bit more. In 2002, I lost my Uncle very unexpectedly in a motorbike accident and that was the trigger for my grief to rear its not so pretty head. This may sound completely barmy, but it wasn't really until then I don't think, that I realised my brother was never coming back. You would think 6 years would be enough of a clue, but I must of suppressed all my feelings and this tragedy was enough to unleash them. 

It was during this period that I was sent to the school counsellor - my teachers were worried about me and thought this would be a good option. I'll be honest, at first, I was horrified - I wasn't a crazy person that needed to see a counsellor, so I sat there for the first couple of weeks ignoring the poor woman. Then finally, we started chatting about generic stuff, nothing about death or grief, just the previous weekend and she turned out to be alright. After that session, I made the decision that I would give this counselling stuff a go and see where it took me. I wanted this to be something I did for ME so I kind of kept this to myself - only my close friends and teachers were aware of it. It was me who was struggling and only I knew why, so only I could fix it. 

I went along to my counsellor for about a year and a half and it was probably the best decision I have ever made, even to date! She was truly incredible and I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for her. I was gutted to be leaving school because it meant I'd be finishing with her, but we've kept in touch even to this date. 

Obviously I don't know what my life would have been like if I hadn't of gone to counselling, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be as happy and content with my feelings as I am today. 

Phew, told it could get heavy! But that's my reality and that is a big part of my life that involved me taking control and making decisions! Why not share your stories with me about the decisions that you've made and how they've changed your life?

p.s. I am aware that counselling isn't for everyone - I actually saw a counsellor when I was about 13 which didn't work for me. I was very lucky to find a counsellor who just clicked with me and that's why I think it worked out so well. Please don't think I'm saying everyone who's lost someone should go to counselling - it's each to their own! 


  1. I think everyone could benefit from counselling, it makes you look at things from a totally different perspective and it's amazing what comes out once you start talking, things you never even knew you felt! I'm pleased it was good for you and it's lovely that you have kept in touch with your counsellor after leaving school

    rachael xx | made up of little things

  2. Thanks for your lovely comment Rachael-appreciate you taking the time to read my post and leave such a nice comment! XX


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